Unplanned pregnancy at 18 after dating a boy in college

BabyBump_18 · Apr 19, 2022

Hello everyone, I am in a bit of a problematic situation right now that I would some help with.

About 2 months ago I approached and flirted with a gorgeous and very popular guy at my college, and we ended up sleeping with each other on several occasions for about a week.
He dumped me after that, since it turned out that he was the type of guy who slept around a lot (he always gets lots of invites from other girls), and a couple weeks later I found out that he had made me pregnant.
I have told him about this, and he seemed to react with a bit of delight, but he mostly seemed surprised and a bit uncomfortable, and he hasn't given me a clear answer of how he wants to handle this.
I personally want to keep the baby, and I wish that he would be open to that as well, so that we could try to make this work together.
I am not sure what I should say to him - should I approach him again about this, or should I forget about him?

Littleperson · Apr 19, 2022

BabyBump_18 said:
Hello everyone, I am in a bit of a problematic situation right now that I would some help with.

About 2 months ago I approached and flirted with a gorgeous and very popular guy at my college, and we ended up sleeping with each other on several occasions for about a week.
He dumped me after that, since it turned out that he was the type of guy who slept around a lot (he always gets lots of invites from other girls), and a couple weeks later I found out that he had made me pregnant.
I have told him about this, and he seemed to react with a bit of delight, but he mostly seemed surprised and a bit uncomfortable, and he hasn't given me a clear answer of how he wants to handle this.
I personally want to keep the baby, and I wish that he would be open to that as well, so that we could try to make this work together.
I am not sure what I should say to him - should I approach him again about this, or should I forget about him?

I think you need to make your decision. If you’ve decided to keep it then I would message him and tell him ‘I have decided to keep the baby. I would welcome and appreciate your support and involvement. If you like I can tell you when any appointments are and you will be welcome to attend as this baby is equally yours. Your parents are also welcome to be involved as this will be their grandchild and I would like to honour that.’

something to that effect. Keep emotions out of it.

if he gets involved, great. If he doesn’t then leave him to it. Don’t stress about it, don’t argue about it.
When baby arrives then go down the formal route for child maintenance from him as he is legally obligated to contribute financially wether he is involved in the child’s life or not.

Also if he does get involved don’t jump into a relationship/have sex with him if he wants any of that at any point with you make him earn your trust over a long period of time otherwise things could get complicated and messy. Create some healthy boundaries with him and see if he respects those first.

good luck in your pregnancy xxx

BabyBump_18 · Apr 19, 2022

Littleperson said:
I think you need to make your decision. If you’ve decided to keep it then I would message him and tell him ‘I have decided to keep the baby. I would welcome and appreciate your support and involvement. If you like I can tell you when any appointments are and you will be welcome to attend as this baby is equally yours. Your parents are also welcome to be involved as this will be their grandchild and I would like to honour that.’

something to that effect. Keep emotions out of it.

if he gets involved, great. If he doesn’t then leave him to it. Don’t stress about it, don’t argue about it.
When baby arrives then go down the formal route for child maintenance from him as he is legally obligated to contribute financially wether he is involved in the child’s life or not.

Also if he does get involved don’t jump into a relationship/have sex with him if he wants any of that at any point with you make him earn your trust over a long period of time otherwise things could get complicated and messy. Create some healthy boundaries with him and see if he respects those first.

good luck in your pregnancy xxx

Thank you. ^-^

The thing that worries me a bit is that he is very spoiled with attention, and there are always girls who flirt with him and make a lot of effort to try to snatch him, and I am not sure if he is willing to leave that behind yet.

I did however feel that we got along great whole we were dating;
we had plenty of sex, and we would get romantic and loving during all of it - smiling to each while gazing into each other's eyes for very long periods of time and things like that - so this has made me feel a bond to him.
He also seemed a bit moved when I told him that he was the father, so I hope that I will be able to come to an agreement with him, so that we could try developing a relationship together as mother and father.

Littleperson · Apr 19, 2022

It’s totally possible he could be a great dad but still have his fun with other girls in his free time.

The only expectation you should have from him is that he does his part for the baby.

If you end up in a loving relationship down the line then that’s great however you need to prepare yourself for the fact that he might want everything to do with the baby but nothing to do with a relationship with you and that’s okay too.

either way you will be fine xx

BabyBump_18 · Apr 19, 2022

Littleperson said:
It’s totally possible he could be a great dad but still have his fun with other girls in his free time.

The only expectation you should have from him is that he does his part for the baby.

If you end up in a loving relationship down the line then that’s great however you need to prepare yourself for the fact that he might want everything to do with the baby but nothing to do with a relationship with you and that’s okay too.

either way you will be fine xx

I guess so, I just feel like I would be very jealous if he did that - especially if he ended up making some other girl pregnant - but I will see what happens in the future.
If I am lucky then he might be a bit bored of all other girls throwing themselves over him, and he and I do have a baby together, so I have a little bit of hope there.

MilieWolf · Apr 29, 2022

BabyBump_18 · Nov 27, 2022

Wonderful news:
I gave birth 2 weeks ago (a girl), and my boyfriend is still together with me.
I used to be a bit worried for some time when he always got attention from other girls, but he always rejects anyone who tries to flirt with him, and introduces me to them, haha.
So I know that he is serious with me. ^-^
Our family members help out a lot whenever we need it, and we are now getting used to being parents. ^-^
We have even had a few discussions on having more babies in the future, when we feel that we are ready for it, so this is really really beautiful.

miamia · Dec 2, 2022

wonderful news, so happy for you.

BabyBump_18 · Mar 5, 2023

miamia said:
wonderful news, so happy for you.

Thaanks, it is working really well. :angel:

I will admit that I have had moments when I have worried that we started our relationship too quickly, and questioned how stable it will be in the future - especially considering the fact that my boyfriend was viewed as the dream guy by all other girls, and was chased by them.
But he has stayed with me for over a year now, and we have had talks about having more babies in the future, so it feels perfect right now. ^-^

Unplanned pregnancy at 18 after dating a boy in college

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