Conflicting emotions - Babaloon's due date today

[DaisyRose]

Hi,

It would have been my little Babaloon's due date today (I lost at the end of last July at just over 6 weeks) - thought I was ok but am feeling a little sad this morning. I really wanted to go by myself to the local wood for a few minutest because, for some reason, I always feel very connected to LO there but my youngest has been really ill over the weekend so she hasn't gone to preschool, and I don't think she needs to see me crying my eyes out for apparently no reason!!

I may get something yummy for pudding tonight - it'll cheer us up and the girls will love it, if nothing else.

Sometimes I wonder if I should feel like this, given I've got another one on the way, and it was an early m/c (I can't begin to imagine what it must be like for those of you who lost late - I don't want to imagine). I would have done anything for Babaloon to have survived, and of course I would do anything for this LO kicking away right now, but if I'd had Babaloon I would have never had this one......it's all very confusing!!! I'm sad, yet I am happy - I should have/ just be about to have a newborn that has long gone yet I've got a 24 wk pregnancy that is now considered viable! Is anyone else in a similar situation?

Just want to say sorry for anyone who has lost again, and for those who have due dates around now - stay strong - we'll all come through this

 

[Slinky Sarah]

my due date was 1st March but im still not pregnant yet so i cant comment on them emotions.
Iv got the other ones of wondering why its not happening after 6 months of trying!
You still lost your little one and jsut because you have a viable pregnancy now it doesnt take away the hurt of your lost angel.
i know what you mean about going to the woods though...we have a lovely wooded area ear here and i love to just go and wander around it but my OH doesnt like me going on my own (it is a little scary lol).
Do what ever you feel you need to do hun...if that means having a reall good cry once the kids are in bed id do that.
Take care hun here if you need me

 

[pammie]

hi

I understand what you are going through I lost my baby the same time as you and the baby was due yesterday it is a hard time and am still thinking about it today, its a very difficult emotional time ful of what ifs.
If you need to talk you know where i am.

pam xx

 

[sarah113]

Im really dreading it when it comes to my babys due date, its not till 6th june but i think im going to be quite emotional

 

[DaisyRose]

Thanks everyone, it has been kind of a difficult day emotionally. I didn't make it to the woods but think I may try and go for a few minutes on Thursday when littleun is at preschool. These woods are a bit scary too - a bit in the middle of nowhere, and I usually would go with the family rather than alone but it is such a peaceful place, and it's lovely to hear all the birds singing. We went there for a walk on the weekend of my m/c - it's all a bit of a blur now to be honest, but I felt a strong connection to the baby there; it was also the place where I realised that it was all over (I hadn't had the scan then but it was there that the reality hit me).

For the three of you who have replied, just wanted to say all the very best for ttc - even though I was fortunate in the sense that it didn't take too long, I remember very well the agony of the 2ww every month, and the awful dread that it may not happen again! One thing my m/c did and that was to make me even more determined never to give up on having another baby - keep believing it will happen - it will, and I hope it happens very soon for you all.

 

[Slinky Sarah]

thank you hun Im so glad it happened quick for you

I think that is a good idea hun to go when shes back at preschool.
i think its lovely that you have a place like that to feel close to your baby.

Good luck with the birth and the rest of your pregnancy hehe (even though im sure we will talk before baby is here lol)
take care xxx

 

[tracey 2]

sending loads of hugs hun dont know how i missed this yesterday

hope your ok and here if you need to chat

 

[MissSara]

i missed this yesterday but i posted on the 10th about the same thing, i didn't know how i felt because i also am pregnant and really felt like i shouldn't be sad or unhappy and unsure of my emotions.
Just because you are pregnant it doesn't for one second make you forget you loss of your little one.

 

[DaisyRose]

Thanks everyone