Really down in the dumps at the mo :(

[Lindsay]

I am so sad at the moment. I am sitting her with a huge lump in my throat and tears falling down my face. I think the root of the problem is going back to work and leaving Jacob. I have reduced my hours to go back 4 days but I still feel like s**t at the thought of not being there for my LO.

Jacob is 19 weeks now and the longest time I have been apart from him is 1hour when I went to get my hair done. When I go back to work LO is going to be looked after by DH and MIL and during school holidays my mum will also look after him (she's a teacher)so I know that he is going to be looked after by people who love him as much as I do but it doesn't help with how I feel. I worry that I am going to miss his first things, first words, first step etc and little things upset me which MIL does, she bounces him on her knee and says dadadadada over and over again - stupid thing to get upset about I know!

My friend has arranged a shopping trip on 27th October and she has asked me to go along. My friend has got a 1year old daughter and a 2week old son and I know she will think I am silly if I say that I don't want to go and leave Jacob plus I know that it will be a good thing to do to stand me in stead for leaving him when I go back to work. DH is off work and so can look after LO. I know that I am going to have to start to leave him with MIL on her own too so that when he is with her he doesn't get too upset, that is going to be so hard for me to do.

Sorry that the psot is so long and negative, needed to get it off my chest.

Here's hoping that I win the lottery!

Xxx

 

[Keely]

oh hun i really feel for you.

I know what you mean about leaving LO... its like when you first meet a partner and you are sooooo loved up you wanna do everything with them and when you are away from them you get sad... but with LO's it will last for more then the honeymoon period.

is you DH def not enough to cover bills etc then?

xxxx

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Sorry your feeling this way hun ide be the same way but at least you know he will be with poeple he knows and trusts .
Katrina

 

[nathanmum]

i was exactly like this i was going to have my 26 weeks then go back but as it got closer and closer i couldnt i was distraught! i begged partner to stay off a bit longer he agreed thank god. im going back in january nathan will be 9 months then(oh my god) i felt more comfortable with it over time. could you not take some unpaid leave im really glad i did.

 

[beanie]

I felt like this too, was dreading it and even thought about leaving. However nafter the first 2 weeks I really started to enjoy it and am now pleased I went back. If you really hate it you could always re-evaluate your work etc.

 

[hels]

Ahhh hun, its an awful feeling isnt it? I cried all the way to work my first day back. If i were you, id go on the shopping trip....it will give you chance to experience the dy with out Jacob, im sure you'll be thrilled to get home to him at the end of the day, but i think it could do you both good. You are very lucky that you will be able to leave him with loved ones when you return to work.
I too hated every mnute of leaving Charlie, but after a few weeks i was fine, i wont say i enjoy leaving her but its not as bad as it was.
How about doing it step by step...ie, leave him an hour here and there, then build it up a bit???
Chin up hun ....... ((HUGS))

 

[Bagpuss17]

Ahhh, I've got all this to come. I;m taking additional maternity leave though, Isaac will be 10 months when I go back.

I would go out on the shopping trip if I were you. It'll do you and Jacob both good. He needs to get used to being with other people and I bet you will really enjoy the time with your friends.

I let my MIL look after Isaac very early on. Because he was with somebody I trust 100%, I didn't feel any anxiety at all. They often look after him for us and I'm going to make sure we set something up on a regular basis with them in prep for when I go back to work.

I'm dreading missing the milestones too, it's so hard being a working Mum.

Isaac will be at nursery for a couple of days and with MIL 2 days and me 1 day. Everybody says it does get easier once you settle back into work.

One of the women at our baby group went back to work last week and her LO is 6 months. She really enjoyed it, much more than she thought she would.

Try and enjoy the time you have left with him and don't think about going back until you need to.

 

[Lindsay]

Thankyou all for your kind replies. I feel a bit better now although I did have a few tears Wednesday night, I am blaming hormones and tiredness as through the day I am fine it's when I am tired on an evening it seems worse. I think Jacob is teething at the moment and he has started to wake up more through the night which is making things hard for me.

I am going to take your advice and arrange for MIL to have Jacob while Dh and I go out, perhaps just for a coffee to start with and then build it up to longer trips out. I am hoping that the thinking about going back is worse than the actual doing, it's not like I hate my job I actually quite like it and I have reduced my hours so I am only going back to working Monday-Thursday.

Am going to try and stop thinking about it until nearer the time and enjoy the time that I have left with my special little boy.

Xxx

 

[Bagpuss17]

Ahh, definitely get your MIL to look after him and you and your DH go out. We've been out a few times now for a meal and we've really benefitted from it.

It'll all work out just fine.

 

[Lindsay]

I think that's half the problem not having left Jacob at all yet. I think DH and I could defo do with some us time!

Xxx