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- Jul 22, 2021
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So as I’ve stated in previous posts, my csection is scheduled for April 5 at 39 weeks. My wonderful doctors agreed if my body decides to go into labor on its own before then, we can try a vbac. With my other 2 pregnancies I went into labor right around 40 weeks. So at just 38+3/4 I’m honestly not expecting it. But I still have my hopes up.
She checked my cervix at my appointment Thursday and said I’m 2 cm and “butter soft” so this has only made me hope more. I don’t want a csection but I do know the bigger baby gets, the less likely a vbac will work for me, so going past 39 weeks isn’t a great idea.
Im trying to tell myself “trust your body” “just accept surgery and if labor happens then it’s a good surprise “. But here I am paying attention to every little thing, swaying, trying to use gravity to encourage dilation, keeping my hips wide when I sit..obsessing. And I just already feel really disappointed and upset and afraid of surgery and afraid of recovery and it’s getting me down…
I should just be grateful for a healthy baby, however she comes. So why can’t I let go? I don’t want to go through surgery recovery the most. I’m just imagining being utterly miserable ):
She checked my cervix at my appointment Thursday and said I’m 2 cm and “butter soft” so this has only made me hope more. I don’t want a csection but I do know the bigger baby gets, the less likely a vbac will work for me, so going past 39 weeks isn’t a great idea.
Im trying to tell myself “trust your body” “just accept surgery and if labor happens then it’s a good surprise “. But here I am paying attention to every little thing, swaying, trying to use gravity to encourage dilation, keeping my hips wide when I sit..obsessing. And I just already feel really disappointed and upset and afraid of surgery and afraid of recovery and it’s getting me down…
I should just be grateful for a healthy baby, however she comes. So why can’t I let go? I don’t want to go through surgery recovery the most. I’m just imagining being utterly miserable ):