first councelling appt today -

[p1nk11]

I was feeling really nervous yesturday & this morning but I'm so glad I went. She is lovely & has lots of experience so its to talk to someone who really understands what has happened (she was a midwife for 30yrs, then a bereavement counsellor for parents of stillborns ect in maternity unit before working with GP surgeries.

I really feel it helped & have another appt. next week. I was surprised at how easier it was tell her everything.

 

[Samsgirl]

so pleased it went well xxx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

I'm glad it went well.
Wish I could say the same for my counsellor but we just didn't click and I found her very rude.
It even got to the point where she was telling me what to wear and what hair colour to use :/ as well as to break up with my partner.

I'm past my anxiety stage as this was early last year, and I fixed myself. I bought a self-help book, which she recommended to me.. so I guess she did come in handy just a tad. No more anxiety for me!

Good luck for the next appointment.
xxx

 

[Laura_C]

Oh honey I am so so happy that it went well, sounds like you have a lovely counsellor there.

 

[p1nk11]

She just made me feel like what I think isn't me going crazy - even though I told her what I've never told anyone. She told me that I've completely pushed all my emotions/grief/sadness deep down as everytime I got upset talking to her I would instantly stop myself & that I'm using focusing on ttc again to distract me from thinking of what happened & how I really feel. She also told me that I need to tell people what I'm thinking & how I'm really feeling.
So when I got back I told OH a brief account of what she said (leaving out what I'd told her) His response was 'well I don't agree with that, its been ages now' Also got told by MIL that FIL had told OH brother's that I should be over it by now & back to normal - no wonder I can't bloody talk to anyone. I'm really upset about this as I always tell his dad little things & listened to what he'd say but now I really don't want to talk to him. I'm even more angry that my MIL felt that this was something I needed to know, surely you don't tell the person things like this.

 

[Laura_C]

Oh god sweetie, why would they say that to you?! That's just awful!

I'm so lucky with my OH's family they have been my rock through all this. They were there when Ethan died so it kept us all very close.

It's still so raw, it's only been 3 months, that is no time at all! I can't believe they expect you "to be over it". You will never get over it but learn to live with it, which takes time and is a constant battle. It never goes away just hopefully gets easier.

Big hugs

 

[p1nk11]

Second counselling appt. was today, I told her about trying to talk to OH & what he said & she thinks that I should try again & make him understand how I'm feeling. I feel really worried about as I really don't know how he'd react if I told him my thoughts ect. She's still wants me to talk to people & not to bottle everything up so told her that I talk to you lovely ladies on here but if I'm feeling really down I sometimes write letter's to Ava telling her all sorts of things which I find really helps, so I was thinking of maybe writing a 'letter' to OH to explain things to him or giving him my 'Ava's letters' book to read.

 

[k8_005]

glad you founda good counciller, its difficult to t alk to people at first. i didnt ring the counciller work provided me but did go to occupational health adn talk to them, i also talked to a few close friends one of whom has gone through 3 mcs and totally understood, without my freinds family and support network i would have definatly gone to counciller i still wonder if that first month or two i shouldnt have treid councilling but i cope ok now. x

 

[Laura_C]

I have done that before honey - given my OH a letter so that everything I want to say is written down and I don't get all flustered trying to explain myself. It can work really well. I say counsellor last week and she thinks I'm still not ready for work yet, which is fine because I'm off for a long while now as I dont have a job to go back too! Happy with that though, can have a fresh start when I'm ready and able.

I'm so so glad to have someone your able to open up too and feel comfortable with. Your doing so well sweetie xxx

 

[p1nk11]

I finaly told OH bits of how I've been feeling & he was so calm & just said that I'm bound to feel these things & if it was him that had carried her, he would probably be feeling the same as me. I was so suprised I really thought he'd be angry or upset (if he was he didn't show it!) but he just hugged me & told me not to be so silly

I have another appt. on tues.