Men say the funniest things

Haha... These are funny! Mine hasn't been too bad... Although we did have a conversation the other night...

My sister is giving us a steam cleaner for the floors, an I said that would be good for when the baby is crawling about to keep the floors clean, blah blah blah... I then said something about crawling. And he said when will it start crawling, I said I wasn't too sure, maybe like 8-10months... And he looked shocked!! He then asked when it would start walking around the house. I said maybe a year, 15 months... And his face was a picture 'what we have to carry it about for a YEAR' !!!! He's actually been brilliant in daddy mode... I think he's just expecting me to give birth to a toddler! Haha!!xxx

This is the funniest thing I have heard! Where do men get these idea's from??
 
I would love to know what goes through there heads!!! He's said a few things that's raised my eyebrows...!!!xx
 
this thread is sooo funny!! so happy I'm not alone!! whenever I say anything to do with feeling tired, hungry, headache, joint pain all I get is 'yea so do I' or'' maybe we're coming down with something??' MAYBE I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!! I can't even have that on my own ! xx

Mine does this ... Drives me bonkers!!!


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!
 
We still use condoms :) for hygienic purposes lol. Much easier to clean the mess :p I was sick of changing blessings every night while TTC :roll:
Also I don't really want any sperm near my cervix. Nor until I am 37 weeks at least lol. (there is a theory that says that if cervix is favorable then sperm can induce labour)
Ofc it's only a silly precaution so snot be alarmed but after last years mc I am not willing to take any chances. But actually he mentioned it and took out the condoms and I was more than happy with them :shock: no more messy sex yeeeey!!!!

Same here! Hate having a mess to clean up! Shame OH doesn't agree!
 
this thread has cheered me up no end today x
 
oooh laughing so hard i think i've pulled something! I'll have to try to remember some of the classics my husband comes out with - alot of it is along the lines of thinking we both have the same ailments or asking in a very concerned voice exactly why i'm tired/aching/feeling fed up - BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT!!! lol

He also said something about how i'll be a lady of leisure when i'm on maternity leave!
 
My OH informed me the other day that I was starting to waddle!

He also says I should home study when on maternity leave and try and get a degree- I'll just hit the books in between feeding, burping, changing, cuddling, washing, cooking, cleaning, walking the dogs etc etc etc etc etc etc etc

Whenever I mention anything about being tired or needing an early night, he always responds with what's new, your always tired. He doesn't seem to get that although I was partial to the odd nap on the sofa of an evening before I got preggers and yes I'm not dneying I do like my sleep, this level of tiredness is something else all together!

Sometime he really pees me off, but I do love him! :)

XX
 
Lady of leisure!?!? Lol bless! X

Sent from my HTC Wildfire S A510e using Tapatalk 2
 
Bless him. I don't know how much free time he thinks I will have! To be honest I don't know how much free time I think I'll have but I can tell you one thing for sure, I won't be hitting the books- be more likely to be hitting the pillow and get some shut eye!!

He's always encourgaed me to aim high but my aim has always been to get married and have a baby- mission accomplished!!

XX
 
Mine is the same...I started a diploma at work b4 I fell pregnant but had such a crap few early months and haven't really done much. He seems to think its realistic to complete when Im off work! Ha! I try to laugh it off but it's so not funny!

Men..... :) xxx
 
My OH has been really good with me actually, really understanding. The only that does make me laugh is that he seems to think nothing much will change when LO arrives. He just doesn't get how much hard work it's going to be. I sometimes just sit chuckling to myself thinking about how he's in for the shock of his life!!!
 
Yeah same, they live in a dream world! Ha! Xx
 
Things have been quite serious for me the past day or so and OH has come out with a couple of good-uns:

I go for an early scan today and was explaining to OH that the scan will probably be internal. He wanted further clarification, so I explained that they will put a probe inside me instead of on my belly. He went mad! "They can't do that! Thats dangerous! What if they touch the baby? It will kill it!" :rofl: I had to do some major googling to prove to him that my cervix will be closed and the probe will go nowhere near the baby :roll:

Later on in bed we were discussing sleeping arrangements when we move house as OH would like to swap bed sides with me so I am closer to the window when I get hot. I decided against this, as I need to be closer to the en-suite and I explained that I need the room at the side of the bed for the moses basket. He looked at me funny and said "the baby isn't sleeping in here?" I explained that of course it will for the first couple of months, until it is big enough to sleep in the cot in its room, this resulted in a sulky response of "but it will wake me up!" :rofl: erm- yes?! I couldn't help but give him a sympathetic smile and explain that he has a lot to learn about having a baby and there are going to be some major changes in his life lol x
 
I've been stressing out the last couple of days about the stretch marks that are starting to appear.

DH said as I was getting into bed ... It will just be like having extra veins dunno hat your worried about :wall2:

I asked him the other night what e thinks life will be like after baby comes and he gave a very non committal answer!

I'm not sure he has connected that he doesn't just have to 'get through' this pregnancy ... As there will be a baby at the end of it!


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!
 
So a few more quotes to add

When talking about the garden last night

"the wean won't be walking for two or three years" :shock:

And when discussing me being the designated driver for a wedding

"I drinking for two now" :rotfl:


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!
 
So a few more quotes to add

When talking about the garden last night

"the wean won't be walking for two or three years" :shock:

And when discussing me being the designated driver for a wedding

"I drinking for two now" :rotfl:


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

Drinking for two :rofl:
This must be what my OH is doing too!!!!
 
I'm really enjoying reading all the things that the oh's come out with. It makes me feel better about the rubbish mine comes out with. I am having a c section and I would prefer not to be. Hubby tries to make me feel better by saying things like
At least your downstairs bits will all be nice and tidy still.
Its only going to be a flesh wound, its not like your having heart surgery or anything.
It will be over in 5 minutes so you won't have to push for hours.

The other day he gave me a slimming world leaflet that had come through the door. His face when I started crying was a picture. He looked so crestfallen. He said, I thought you said that you wanted to lose weight once the baby came. I pointed out that me saying it and him saying it implied 2 different things.

He tries so hard to say the right thing, but always seems to put his foot in it.
 
This thread has made me laugh so much. My OH came out with a beauty today, not directly pregnancy related but funny all the same.

I was feeling a bit low earlier, so was lying across the bed, staring into space. My OH came into the room, sat down next to me and rubbed my back and asked if I was ok. I said I was feeling a bit low so he said, "Aww you should have a wee lie down then." LOL, at least he cheered me up.

xxx
 
Oh discussing the nursery plans

"Does the baby need a TV on the wall in the nursery?"

:wall2:
 
OH woke me up last night after our Tesco delivery arrived, in a panic and flapping

OH: "I've had to send the washing tablets back, they've sent us bio ones!"
Me: "but thats what I ordered?"
OH: "But we need non-bio ones now don't we?!"
Me: "Not until the baby arrives you idiot!!"

That was actually the second time he had woke me up last night, the first time he was checking to see if I was asleep :wall2:

Let sleeping pregnant women lie!!
 

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