Hi girls 
I added this after I finished typing the post
I just wanted to post about how lucky I am to have such a loving and caring OH.......I am sorry it is so long, it wasn't meant to be, it has been hard writing this, but I think as well it has sort of helped a little bit.......please don't worry about reading it, it is not compulsory
but it felt good getting it off my chest too
I just have to post about my Oh as we have been thru so much these past few years, and he is still with me and still as dedicated as he has ever been.
When my Mum got diagnosed with Breast Cancer back in 2003, my OH did everything to try and make life easier for me & Mum, including me & DD moving from Bristol to Kent to look after my Mum whilst she under went Chemo......he used to come and visit every weekend without fail, he was also a rock for my Mum, if anything needed sorting he was there sorting it, if she had to go to London to hospital, he was there taking her.....he would do anything for Mum, and he was also a tower of strength, whenever any of us got scared, he would always point out the positives and bring us up again!
Then in 2004, Mum came and stayed with us in Bristol for 4 months whilst she had radio therapy......again he was there thru everything and was a great support to both me & Mum, as well as a good Dad! In the May of 2004, we were able to start living a normal life as Mum had finished her treatments and we were back to visiting her in London (where she lived) every weekend we could and me & DD would always go and stay with her when DD hd any school holidays (as we always did) it was great and my OH again would sit back and let me get on with doing "what I had to do" with Mum and so on etc.
Then in 2005, Mum got diagnosed with Secondary Breast Cancer
We were told it could be 3, 4, 5, 6 months, they didn't know how long Mum had, but this time Mum wasn't going to get better as it had gone to her liver. Well, we were all devasted and didn't know how to handle it all and was shell shocked.........OH was there yet again, picking us all up and putting us back together and pointing out all the pros and from that minute, I never went back to live in Bristol.......my OH said to Mum "we are moving down here" (we never spoke a word about it, he just knew it was the thing I needed to do). Me & Mum found a place (he hadn't even seen it) and he arranged for all of our stuff to be moved down from Bristol to London and all the other crap that goes with moving!.......He saw the place he would be living in, the day we moved in, me & Mum liked it and that was all that counted as far as he was concerned as it was very convenient too, he liked it too, which was a bonus! 
We planned to live with Mum and just be there for when she needed us, there was no way she was ever going to be on her own, and my OH never ever would have had it any other way! We had fun living together, going out and making the house our own.....and Mum got taken into hospital and got pneumonia just 2 months afterwards...............at one point she was given hours to live, I was in a right state, my OH was there all the time, he even stayed at the hospital with me & Mum over night (for 2 weeks) and would also sort DD during the day with going to a member of my familes or something etc.......Mum pulled thru and shocked the hell out of everyone!!!! They couldn't believe Mum's strength and will to live...........Mum got herself from being in a wheelchair and being on oxygen to being able to walk about and no need for oxygen within 4 weeks of coming out of hospital!....Again, she shocked the hell out of everyone, and once again my OH was there all thru it, making sure we never run out of oxygen, getting emergency supplies, going out late at night looking for an all night pharmacy etc etc......
Sadly in Dec, my Mum was given weeks to live..........my OH was there for us, he was strong for me and for my Mum, yet his heart was breaking too as my Mum was like a Mum to him, yet he never broke down! He made sure Mum had everything she needed as we was bringing her home to be with us in her own home!!!! Once she had been told about her liver packing up she gave up.....And who wouldn't (The Doctor should never have told her, he should have just told me, my sister & my OH, as it always used to be, Mum didn't like to know anything), so we only had her with us for another 4 days in total. They were the hardest days I have ever had in my life, and my OH was there thru all of it with me, and really looked out for me, and did all he could to try to help and make everything as comfortable and painless as possible..............
Boxing Day Mum died, but before she did, she wouldn't go but then my OH said "I am here for the girls now" and that must have gave her some peace, because she then slipped away........I think she was ready Christmas day, but there was no way she would have let anything get in the way of that!!! My Oh sorted everything out from that point on, I was useless, I could barely get up in the mornings, let alone look after DD who was also devestated, and he was there again thru all of it.......looking after me & DD and my sister and making all arrangements and sorting god knows what else out too. Not once did he let any of us down.........
He got me on my feet again in time, he got me to the Doctor's and got me counselling and he came with me (but I wasn't ready for it, I am still not, I can only talk about it when I am ready and able, not when someone else brings it up). My Doctor is great and my OH is so against Anti depressents, but he was so worried about me, all I did was cry and sleep (when too knackered to stay awake) he was desperate for me....my Doc talked it all thru with us, she didn't pressure me at all and spent over half an hour going thru everything and just chatting.....and asked me just to take a prescription away with me, and if I don't use it the fine, but if you need it tomorrow or next week or next month, you have the ability to get them and start them, but it is completely your choice!
I did take them a few weeks later and very slowly I started having some form of life again..................and that is all thanks to my OH!!!!
A couple of months after I was on AD we had a posibility of me being pregnant, as we had mucked my dates up (we used the rythmn method as contraception)........when I found out I wasn't PG, I was really quite upset and so was OH and it was at this point we decided to start TTC (April) as the thought of having another baby really made me have something to look forward to and would also help with DD's loss, as she loves her Nanny to bits, Mum was like my DD second Mum, DD didn't care who she was with just as long as one of us was there!
So we started TTC, luckily we fell pg after 1 month of trying and what with hormones and the fact I am still grieving, it has obvioulsy been a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions for me, and the fact that my last pregnancy Mum was there thru all of it with me, from telling my Dad, scans, midwives apps, buying things, birth & cutting the cord........ she was my DD Dad (you would have thought anyway).
With this pregnancy, I was feeling so ill, nauseas all the time and started to get very sick (I started off with no symptoms). I got to the stage where I couldn't do much at all around the house, all I wanted to do was sleep and rest.........OH would come home from work (he works in Birmingham, we live in London) he would tidy up and cook dinner and put DD to bed
I just felt so rough all the time!
I was taken into hospital 2 or 3 weeks back now, as I was unable to keep food & fluids down, I would ruin a day out as I would just start being sick out of the blue and it hasn't been nice for my OH & DD to have to put up with and hear So my OH took me to the Doc's at midnight one night, I couldn't do a urine sample, (I had told her I hadn't wee'd for 12hrs!!!! sorry tmi) so this crap shift Doctor sent me home with some anti sickness tabs after telling me they didn't like to be giving these out within the first 12 weeks, well there was NO WAY I was going to take them!!
Next day my OH took me and a tiny sample to see my Doctor, who tested it and referred me straight to hospital, as I was severely dehydrated!! My Oh was there with me all day, as was DD and both of them spent every day up the hospital with me (for 1 week) every minute they could visit they were there without fail. I was diagnosed with hypermesis gravidarium, so I am on anti sickness tablets still(but I havebeen assured the baby will be OK) and still not too good and cooking makes me so ill, as do many smells etc...so I have to take one day at a time.
Then.........on Tuesday I started bleeding and passing large clots!!!!! I was scared stiff, my OH was at work in Birmingham, so I called him straight away, he left to come home immediately......I got a taxi with DD (who has tonsiltis ) to the Doctors, I got sent home and told to rest......there was sadly nothing she could do, if the pregnancy is meant to be, it will be......she was so sorry it had happened too.
OH got home, sorted dinner for us all, I posted on here to you girls once I had calmed down, and then asked him to take me to A&E, without question he said yes, sorted out my DD staying with my sister and we headed off to the hospital. He had been up since 5.30am that morning and was knackered. We were there all night, and I was put in CDU to rest and be monitored as my blood pressure had plumetted and they were concerned it was to do with the bleeding (but it turned out I was dehydrated again)......but although I was comfy and rested, he wouldn't come home to rest, as the hours were going by and I knew I would be no good for DD in the morning and I needed him to be, but he refused to go and stayed with me and kept getting the nurses on the hour to redo my blood pressure (the worst thing they could have done was tell him they would do that, as he would make sure they did exactly that ). He stayed all the way thru, and when I got put on the EPU ward at 8.00am he was told he would have to leave as it wasn't fare on women getting washed and dressed, he piped up "I am not going anywhere until she is sorted"!!! She replied, you can sit in the corridor and when she goes for her scanl we promise we will get you!!! So he reluctantly went outside, I followed half an hour later once all the paper work for the ward had been done.........Then my sister phones up can he pick my DD up, they are going out, so he did and took her to my uncles......so in the process he missed the scan!! But happily there was a bouncing healthy Baby Ireland in there!! 
So we have a second chance and are grabbing it with both hands, and hope we have a bit of a breather now.
My OH has had to take a lot of time off of work over the past few years, and his company have been great about it, they always tell him not to worry about work, family is more important, and he has been paid all the way thru it all.....he has been off this week since I had the threatened miscarriage too..............
With everything that has gone on and all that I put on him and all the shit that comes our way, he never moans.....never ever moans!!!!
I know how lucky I am and I love him to bits, and really hope things are a little easier on us just for a bit so we can enjoy our family and also so maybe I can try and give a little back for all he has given me.
I am so lucky as I have the best Mum (God Bless), OH and daugter and baby on the way........anyone could ever ask for!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I added this after I finished typing the post
I just wanted to post about how lucky I am to have such a loving and caring OH.......I am sorry it is so long, it wasn't meant to be, it has been hard writing this, but I think as well it has sort of helped a little bit.......please don't worry about reading it, it is not compulsory
but it felt good getting it off my chest tooI just have to post about my Oh as we have been thru so much these past few years, and he is still with me and still as dedicated as he has ever been.
When my Mum got diagnosed with Breast Cancer back in 2003, my OH did everything to try and make life easier for me & Mum, including me & DD moving from Bristol to Kent to look after my Mum whilst she under went Chemo......he used to come and visit every weekend without fail, he was also a rock for my Mum, if anything needed sorting he was there sorting it, if she had to go to London to hospital, he was there taking her.....he would do anything for Mum, and he was also a tower of strength, whenever any of us got scared, he would always point out the positives and bring us up again!
Then in 2004, Mum came and stayed with us in Bristol for 4 months whilst she had radio therapy......again he was there thru everything and was a great support to both me & Mum, as well as a good Dad! In the May of 2004, we were able to start living a normal life as Mum had finished her treatments and we were back to visiting her in London (where she lived) every weekend we could and me & DD would always go and stay with her when DD hd any school holidays (as we always did) it was great and my OH again would sit back and let me get on with doing "what I had to do" with Mum and so on etc.
Then in 2005, Mum got diagnosed with Secondary Breast Cancer
We were told it could be 3, 4, 5, 6 months, they didn't know how long Mum had, but this time Mum wasn't going to get better as it had gone to her liver. Well, we were all devasted and didn't know how to handle it all and was shell shocked.........OH was there yet again, picking us all up and putting us back together and pointing out all the pros and from that minute, I never went back to live in Bristol.......my OH said to Mum "we are moving down here" (we never spoke a word about it, he just knew it was the thing I needed to do). Me & Mum found a place (he hadn't even seen it) and he arranged for all of our stuff to be moved down from Bristol to London and all the other crap that goes with moving!.......He saw the place he would be living in, the day we moved in, me & Mum liked it and that was all that counted as far as he was concerned as it was very convenient too, he liked it too, which was a bonus! We planned to live with Mum and just be there for when she needed us, there was no way she was ever going to be on her own, and my OH never ever would have had it any other way! We had fun living together, going out and making the house our own.....and Mum got taken into hospital and got pneumonia just 2 months afterwards...............at one point she was given hours to live, I was in a right state, my OH was there all the time, he even stayed at the hospital with me & Mum over night (for 2 weeks) and would also sort DD during the day with going to a member of my familes or something etc.......Mum pulled thru and shocked the hell out of everyone!!!! They couldn't believe Mum's strength and will to live...........Mum got herself from being in a wheelchair and being on oxygen to being able to walk about and no need for oxygen within 4 weeks of coming out of hospital!....Again, she shocked the hell out of everyone, and once again my OH was there all thru it, making sure we never run out of oxygen, getting emergency supplies, going out late at night looking for an all night pharmacy etc etc......Sadly in Dec, my Mum was given weeks to live..........my OH was there for us, he was strong for me and for my Mum, yet his heart was breaking too as my Mum was like a Mum to him, yet he never broke down! He made sure Mum had everything she needed as we was bringing her home to be with us in her own home!!!! Once she had been told about her liver packing up she gave up.....And who wouldn't (The Doctor should never have told her, he should have just told me, my sister & my OH, as it always used to be, Mum didn't like to know anything), so we only had her with us for another 4 days in total. They were the hardest days I have ever had in my life, and my OH was there thru all of it with me, and really looked out for me, and did all he could to try to help and make everything as comfortable and painless as possible..............
Boxing Day Mum died, but before she did, she wouldn't go but then my OH said "I am here for the girls now" and that must have gave her some peace, because she then slipped away........I think she was ready Christmas day, but there was no way she would have let anything get in the way of that!!! My Oh sorted everything out from that point on, I was useless, I could barely get up in the mornings, let alone look after DD who was also devestated, and he was there again thru all of it.......looking after me & DD and my sister and making all arrangements and sorting god knows what else out too. Not once did he let any of us down.........
He got me on my feet again in time, he got me to the Doctor's and got me counselling and he came with me (but I wasn't ready for it, I am still not, I can only talk about it when I am ready and able, not when someone else brings it up). My Doctor is great and my OH is so against Anti depressents, but he was so worried about me, all I did was cry and sleep (when too knackered to stay awake) he was desperate for me....my Doc talked it all thru with us, she didn't pressure me at all and spent over half an hour going thru everything and just chatting.....and asked me just to take a prescription away with me, and if I don't use it the fine, but if you need it tomorrow or next week or next month, you have the ability to get them and start them, but it is completely your choice!
I did take them a few weeks later and very slowly I started having some form of life again..................and that is all thanks to my OH!!!!
A couple of months after I was on AD we had a posibility of me being pregnant, as we had mucked my dates up (we used the rythmn method as contraception)........when I found out I wasn't PG, I was really quite upset and so was OH and it was at this point we decided to start TTC (April) as the thought of having another baby really made me have something to look forward to and would also help with DD's loss, as she loves her Nanny to bits, Mum was like my DD second Mum, DD didn't care who she was with just as long as one of us was there!
So we started TTC, luckily we fell pg after 1 month of trying and what with hormones and the fact I am still grieving, it has obvioulsy been a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions for me, and the fact that my last pregnancy Mum was there thru all of it with me, from telling my Dad, scans, midwives apps, buying things, birth & cutting the cord........ she was my DD Dad
(you would have thought anyway).With this pregnancy, I was feeling so ill, nauseas all the time and started to get very sick (I started off with no symptoms). I got to the stage where I couldn't do much at all around the house, all I wanted to do was sleep and rest.........OH would come home from work (he works in Birmingham, we live in London) he would tidy up and cook dinner and put DD to bed
I just felt so rough all the time!I was taken into hospital 2 or 3 weeks back now, as I was unable to keep food & fluids down, I would ruin a day out as I would just start being sick out of the blue and it hasn't been nice for my OH & DD to have to put up with and hear
So my OH took me to the Doc's at midnight one night, I couldn't do a urine sample, (I had told her I hadn't wee'd for 12hrs!!!! sorry tmi) so this crap shift Doctor sent me home with some anti sickness tabs after telling me they didn't like to be giving these out within the first 12 weeks, well there was NO WAY I was going to take them!!Next day my OH took me and a tiny sample
to see my Doctor, who tested it and referred me straight to hospital, as I was severely dehydrated!! My Oh was there with me all day, as was DD and both of them spent every day up the hospital with me (for 1 week) every minute they could visit they were there without fail. I was diagnosed with hypermesis gravidarium, so I am on anti sickness tablets still(but I havebeen assured the baby will be OK) and still not too good and cooking makes me so ill, as do many smells etc...so I have to take one day at a time.Then.........on Tuesday I started bleeding and passing large clots!!!!! I was scared stiff, my OH was at work in Birmingham, so I called him straight away, he left to come home immediately......I got a taxi with DD (who has tonsiltis
) to the Doctors, I got sent home and told to rest......there was sadly nothing she could do, if the pregnancy is meant to be, it will be......she was so sorry it had happened too.OH got home, sorted dinner for us all, I posted on here to you girls once I had calmed down, and then asked him to take me to A&E, without question he said yes, sorted out my DD staying with my sister and we headed off to the hospital. He had been up since 5.30am that morning and was knackered. We were there all night, and I was put in CDU to rest and be monitored as my blood pressure had plumetted and they were concerned it was to do with the bleeding (but it turned out I was dehydrated again)......but although I was comfy and rested, he wouldn't come home to rest, as the hours were going by and I knew I would be no good for DD in the morning and I needed him to be, but he refused to go and stayed with me and kept getting the nurses on the hour to redo my blood pressure (the worst thing they could have done was tell him they would do that, as he would make sure they did exactly that
). He stayed all the way thru, and when I got put on the EPU ward at 8.00am he was told he would have to leave as it wasn't fare on women getting washed and dressed, he piped up "I am not going anywhere until she is sorted"!!! She replied, you can sit in the corridor and when she goes for her scanl we promise we will get you!!! So he reluctantly went outside, I followed half an hour later once all the paper work for the ward had been done.........Then my sister phones up can he pick my DD up, they are going out, so he did and took her to my uncles......so in the process he missed the scan!! But happily there was a bouncing healthy Baby Ireland in there!! So we have a second chance and are grabbing it with both hands, and hope we have a bit of a breather now.My OH has had to take a lot of time off of work over the past few years, and his company have been great about it, they always tell him not to worry about work, family is more important, and he has been paid all the way thru it all.....he has been off this week since I had the threatened miscarriage too..............
With everything that has gone on and all that I put on him and all the shit that comes our way, he never moans.....never ever moans!!!!
I know how lucky I am and I love him to bits, and really hope things are a little easier on us just for a bit so we can enjoy our family and also so maybe I can try and give a little back for all he has given me.
I am so lucky as I have the best Mum (God Bless), OH and daugter and baby on the way........anyone could ever ask for!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
