really bad day :-(

[breezee1984]

so today i feel like total crap. iam highly depressed that i cant continue TTC fror 3 months, i am depressed in the fact that i feel 100 percent defeated. from the time i woke up this morning until right now i have cried. this is horrible and i feel like theres no light at the end of the tunnel. i feel like i have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that wont go away, and i wish it would stop!!.. i have already convined myself that i will never have children and it bothers me even more that DH is almost thirty already and ill be 23 in june and neither of us have children yet...i have dealt with nothing but defeat and heartbreak since the day i was born and i feel like the older i get the worse things get for me,my own family doesnt even seem to care that im really hurting...i feel like nobody really cares and that im completly alone. i am hurt that i have two older sisters who didnt evn bother to call me or anything when they found out, in fact my sister(who makes ALOT of money) said its probably for the best since my husband and i couldnt asfford a child anyways(which IS NOT true!!). i HAVE to return to work tomorrow and i dont want to, because im afraid of breaking down at work and i cant do that...i just feel like nobody cares about me and i feel like the doctors are highly insensitive to my feelings as well....im at a loss of what to do

 

[miffy]

Hi breezee - sorry you're feeling so down - I know how hard it is coming to terms with your loss. But please don't feel old! You're both still really young and have plenty of time for a whole brood of kids! I didn't have my first until I was 33 (hubby was 37!)...we fell pregnant immediately and I had a trouble-free pregnancy.

Following my recent m/c, I've been told to wait until I get my first period before TTC again. I think if your system's back to normal and you feel ready, go for it. Being told 3 months must seem a long time, 1 month is long enough!! Is there a particular reason why they've told you 3 months?

There are plenty of people on here who care and have been through the same emotional rollercoaster. I know from recent experience, that unless you've been through it, you can't really understand how you're feeling.

Take each day at a time...going back to work won't be easy but it might give you something else to focus on.

Thinking of you

 

[happy-chick]

Hi Breezee,

Doctors recommend 3 months but medically you only need to wait for a full mentrual cycle. Please make sure that you give yourself time to heal emotionally as well as physically hun.

You are going through a very hard & emotional time at the moment, you have suffered a great loss. Your family may not know how to handle to situation or want to give you some space, why not get in touch with them and let them know you could do with some support right now?

Thinking of you, if u want to chat in the chat room again let me know.
Jo xxxxxx

 

[Mrs P]

Hi Breeze

So sorry for your sad loss
The doctors told me to wait at least 3 months only because they struggle to give you a due date if you fall pregnant again soon after miscarring, which i dont think is a good reason, silly doctors!

I miscarried in Feb 06 then concieved middle of march 06 So i say go for it girl!

Good luck

PS I think your idea of a tattoo is a lovely one, i think i might do it myself........

 

[fynemum]

Hi Sweetheart,
Well now, I Do Feel old I'll be 37 this year and my dear wee man is 46 years young, We lost a baby recently too (October). I have lost before also ,but every baby is special, Love the shooting star tattoo idea too BTW...your angel is special to you and no-one but people who have lost can really understand.
My family weren't that great either...... Thank goodness for the forum I say. People don't need to know all about you to give you the love and support you need...... I would still be in a right state if it wasn't for coming on here, or PMs crying about my feelings, over and over..... and NO_ONE turns their back, they all understand and help you through...Talk and talk and talk...it helps so many and may help you too..

You see darling, you are special too, You are hurting just now and need time to heal, but you will, you will get stronger and learn more about life than you realize... You will be able in time to help others overcome with grief, advise and comfort them because unfortunately you know the pain and you understand it.

Please try to talk to your doctor again, you sound like your not ready for work yet so you should try to get more time off.... You need to think about you and getting your strength back.... emotionally and physically.

3 months does seem like a long time, but it's not.....

Almost every doctor will tell you wait 3 months and almost every mum will tell you , Try when your ready....

Me...well I got straight back on to the TTC train.... I didn't wait....well I did a little, until the bleeding stopped and I felt ready... but please remember It might not happen right off, But if it does....
Make sure your really ready emotionally too...ok doll?

You take care, know we all care more than you realize, and you can post PM anyone anytime..including me...

Lv Yvonne xx

 

[frangelle]

Hiya Breezee, I am so sorry, I have pmed you to apologise for the other thread. It must be a very difficult time, and if you ever need to talk, just PM me- you never have to feel alone

It is so sad that you are feeling so down right now, have you spoken to anyone in the medical profession about it? Or is that not your cup of tea?

Look after yourself hun

xoxoxoxox

 

[breezee1984]

well the doctor told me he begs for me to wait 3 months but recommends 6 because u risk a higher rate of miscarrying again before then...my husband doesnt seem to want to touch me as it is anyways so who knows...at any rate, ive already convinced myself that i will probably miscarry next time too..i swore i wouldnt get my hopes up at all either, being as how my older sister left me a message on my phone last night telling me how i shuoldnt tell anyone until i am at least 3 months along because all it does is excite people(her..shes highly selfish) and then set them up for heartbreak...

 

[jenna]

hun im so sorry Dont listen to your sister, do what you feel is right, if you want to tell people then you tell them! Just sounds like she is really selfish!!

 

[valentine]

Breeze,

I'm so sorry to hear that your sister has been so insensitive. I only told my parents prior to 12.5 weeks and really wish I hadn't as they just wouldn't get excited with me 'in case something went wrong' - I was really really upset by this attitude and was already doing enough worrying for all of us - and I just needed their excitement, love and support.

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so down and that your whole family are being so thoughtless and I also echo the above comments about taking some more time off work - it sounds like you need some time just to grieve.

Lots of hugs going to you honey .

Valentine xxx

 

[lotti77]

Breeze,
I'm so sorry to hear bout what your dealing with at the moment
I was your age when I lost my twins & I too had a not very supportive family... I'm not saying how they are acting is right but they probably don't know how to act for the best... they probably don't want to upset you by bringing it up so by not calling you means they don't have to upset you & then deal with your emotions & your hurt!!
I think that if you don't feel ready to return to work plz don't... I went back too early & sat in the office like a zombie staring into space getting fed up with people saying "Are you ok?" I ended up shouting "No I'm f*****g not ok what a stupid question" & walked out!
You are not alone hun we are always here for you if you need to cry, moan, rant

 

[Riley's Mommy]

hi breeze. im sorry you are feeling so bad. some people are so mean. but id hope that your sister didnt purposely mean to hurt you.

i think it would be a good idea to seek some help. as it seems your family arent being very supportive.

 

[tracey 2]

hi hun i know we havent spoken much but im so saddened by your posts and wanted to give you a hug.

im sorry things are so difficult but you will get through this hun i know its just words at the moment but one day you will i promise. After my first m/c my doc told me as long as i had a period there was no reason why i couldnt try again, i fell preg shortly after but sadly m/c due to infection i know its sad but i know those two pregnancies were trials to get my body ready for the real thing. After having a m/c the chances are of having another are very slim so please dont give up hope never.

Your strong underneath and you can and will get through this just work through your emotions one day at a time cry if you want, shout if you want.

If i can help in anyway please PM me anytime your not alone and im much stronger now and i and the other girls can help you get throught this

anytime please PM me, hope your ok

 

[breezee1984]

no.im not even a little better. i landed in the emergency room again saturday morning with uterus pain so bad i couldnt stand it. i got a shot of vicodin and a 2 weeks constant supply of oxycodone.my husbands mad because ive been too drugged up to clean or cook and that i am never in a good mood., even though i shouldnt be expected to be in a good mood. i dont know, all of this sucks

 

[frangelle]

Your husband should be more understanding, hun. Both physically and emotionally you have been through an awful lot,hugs for you babs

If you're in pain, heshould be cleaning the b****y house

Like I said PM me if you wanna chat xxx