Reeeeeally clingy

[tinkerbell*]

When Theo was really Little he didnt care who held him (but then again he wasnt really aware of it) however since about 3months old he has been really clingy, he will only let me or his dad hold him, and if anyone else attempts to he gets so upset he cries so much he shakes all over. he is better when we have people around and people hold him in his own home, but to take him out anywhere can be a nightmare he just cries and cries and whats me or his dad.

i dont understand why he is so clingy becuase when hes at home i never rush to pick him up when he does cry ect ect, but he gets so upset when we are out that it breaks my heart to see him like it.

he got better for about a month, but since having tonsilitus hes reverted back again. we have had a lot of visitors the past week due to moving home and hes been pretty good with everyone, but i took him to my mums house and he just gets upset being anywhere other then at home.

I am going back to work in 2 and half months time, (nursery nurse... and theo will come to work with me) but i am so worried hes going to hate it and cry all the time. i know he'll get used to it, but its different when its your own child

as well as this, at home he is the happiest baby ive ever know, he hardly ever cries, he is soo chilled out, laughs all the time and shouts ect ect, but whenever anyone else is in the house or he is out, he hardly ever laughs and is himself, let alone smiles . its so sad becuase people dont get to see the real him, he is such a cheerful and funny little monkey.

does anyone have any ideas and is this "normal"??? is there anything i can do to help him? i was thinking of going to a music class with him or something so he mixes with other kids and group situations???

(sorry long post) i just want everyone else to see what a cheeky monkey he is! x x x

 

[Mildly]

Hi, Oscar is a bit like this and has been from around 3 months when he became more aware of his surroundings. I go and visit my parents at least once a week and he still cries when they hold him. He seems to be better if, when we are out, he is able to take in his new surroundings without any new people getting in his face. I tell people to try and ignore him and not to fuss over him (which probably makes me sound like a real controlling Mum ). I also never now hand him over to be held by anyone else for at least half an hour and even then he can still cry. I find that if people try to comfort him they make things worse and he really works himself up so I now take him straight back off people, as otherwise he can be really unsettled for the rest of the day.

I have always picked him up when he has cried, since birth, and I don't think this has contributed to his sensitiveness. I think some babies just prefer to acclimatise to their surroundings slowly and like to be close to familiar things. Does Theo have a favourite toy or comforter? It might be worth you and your OH sleeping with his favourite toy or cloth to transfer your scent so that evern when he isn't in your arms, he can still smell you and be reassured, if that makes sense.

I would definitely go out to a few groups if you don't already. Oscar loves going out and about and taking everything in. He really loves looking at other toddlers/babies playing. I tend to have him on my lap at first and then progress to playing after he has had a chance to take everything in.

It might be worth taking Theo in to your nursery for visits before you return to work, starting off with you being with him the whole time and progressing to being held by a nursery nurse who will be looking after him just so he gets used to things. I think that'll make things much easier for him when you return to work.

I know what you mean about how happy and smiley he is when you are home as Oscar is just the same. Since I've been trying this approach he is getting much better, I think because he feels reassured that he isn't going to be passed round like a parcel when we go out! In fact today, we went out for lunch with my cousin and she remarked on how happy and alert he was. He was even happy to be held by her a couple of times which is pretty much a breakthrough

Hope some of that helps

 

[tinkerbell*]

Awww Thank you for replying Mildly. Whenever i go out with Theo, i ALWAYS say to people can you just ignor him for about 10minutes. (or if they come over out house, as them to) the first time i asked he was really good, he actually started shouting at them to get their attention rather then being smothered. however whenever i say it now, noone other then my mum and dad seem to respect it, (very annoying) but im sure the problems he that he gets sooo overwelmed by all the attention he gets, my mum is coming over today and im sure he will be totally fine as its just her and she understand him and how sensitive he gets. thank you for replying, its nice to hear that im not the only one!

 

[Urchin]

Its very normal at this age for them to get clingy. I found 8 to about 12 months is the worst.
It will pass, I would say at work not to work in the same room as him and that will help him settle

 

[GBLiz]

Anjali is the opposite, she is more clingy when she's alone with me (at home or work) and all smiles when out in public (apart from with other babies as i found out yesterday!)

i try giving her a cuddle / drink/ snack etc , but if theres nothing wrong and she's just being clingy, if i ignore her she'll usually stop crying and play happily by herself after a couple of minutes. Then i will tell her what a good girl she is or pass her something else to play with, so she doesnt feel like i ignore her all the time!