Having a melt down...

[rachaellouise]

I am not sure if my husband has changed his mind
Ok so a bit of back history, I suffer with depression and OCD and up until a few weeks ago was on a few different meds which totaly killed my libido, I had no intrest what so ever in sex and we very rarely had it, maybe once every few months if he was lucky.
When we decided we wanted to start trying for a baby I came off my meds and have had a huge change in my sex drive so much so that I want it all the time, I thought this would be the best news ever for my husband, well in the beginning it was...

We started out having sex every other day constantly which was going really well, then when my ovulation strip 2nd got stronger I thought we should make the most of it and do it everyday which we did two nights in a row, then last night we had a little misshap (he would kill me if he knew I had said this) hubby was unable to ejactulate, he said it was simply because he was so tired and just needed a good nights sleep and we would do it the next night, well that brings us to tonight, I basically threw myself at him tonight and all he wants to do is sleep, he said that I have gone totaly against what I said 'that we would do the stress free method, not worrying about when I ovulate and just have sex reguarly etc but not stress over it' which yes ok maybe I have but that is only because I did not realise how badly I wanted a baby and now that it is within reaching distance I am trying to grab it with both hands and hold on tight, maybe too tight.
Anyway I came out in to the lounge feeling very rejected and just burst in to tears, I felt like I was the only one who wanted to have a baby and that he was trying to give me subtle signs that he had changed his mind.
He came out to see me and we have just had a talk, he said that he does want a baby, but he just does not have the stamina that I do and he needs to rest more or we will keep having reaccurances of last night.
I just needed to get this all out, has anyone else had any thing similar?

 

[Archiesmummy]

I dont have sex with hubby very often and he feels rejected but i can understand how you feel. Maybe because you haven't been in the mood for a while its just taking it out of him and he is really tired. Men, i think, do more work in the bedroom lol well in my case anyway. Maybe just "play" and see where it goes. A massage is always good and candles. Dont make it a chore, make it sexy. Hope this helps hun xx Oh and good luck

 

[rachaellouise]

I dont have sex with hubby very often and he feels rejected but i can understand how you feel. Maybe because you haven't been in the mood for a while its just taking it out of him and he is really tired. Men, i think, do more work in the bedroom lol well in my case anyway. Maybe just "play" and see where it goes. A massage is always good and candles. Dont make it a chore, make it sexy. Hope this helps hun xx Oh and good luck

Maybe you are right, he does work harder more often than not when it comes to bedroom antics.
He assured me last night that he has not changed his mind, that he does want a baby but he is not a machine

 

[jennilisanne]

I do feel sorry for guys in the TTC phase, cos it's major pressure on them! Hubby was getting annoyed when we told people and they said well done to me, when I didn't do anything .

Also, you don't need to do it every night, sperm live for a couple of days, so don't worry too much about that
xxx

 

[flexilexi394]

I agree with the girls, I think us women get so set on what we want that our men actually suffer. They are under a lot of pressure to perform, so "trying for a baby" should men just no contraception. I really do not believe in ovulation tests and all that crap, plenty of us get pregnant without the use of those! I certainly did! Lol!
I think just other about cycles an stuff, just enjoy your time together before the intervention of a baby, because as much as we are all excited to become mummies, it's gonna be hard when the baby arrives and if you've loved and had fun with our OHs then at least when baby comes you have enjoyed life before parenthood. And anotherthing I think when it comes to men, is once you're pregnant they aren't essential in the bed anymore, so at least if you're both enjoyin yourself it can continue through pregnancy! Whereas if you've been timing when you can have sex, ts almost like "what now" after you've concieved, and I think that's sad

Be happy and have some real love making rather than on the clock baby making!! X

 

[Amanda W]

im off sex compelty and to be honest the way he is being he dont derserve anything lol keep ya chin up sweet x

 

[JJ Mum]

I soo sympanthise, we went throught this when TTC and then I MC'd the baby , and I thought OH would never manage to get through it al again, and yet he was better than ever, just to get it done! and not fall in that rut again, and off we were pregnant again.

Hang in there, it's hard for it not to become a chore, esp as you know your dates too, and My OH had the same some days he had stage fright as he knew I was deending on it certain days.

Be carefull with your medication, you may be better to keep on that as long as it's not something that would harm babies , and make yourself do the nookie thing and that way your health doesn't suffer at already a stressfull time - goood luck with your TTC X

 

[pinkymum]

I know I'm coming at this from a different angle because I don't have an oh and I used a sperm donor. What I would add is that it seems alot of people get pregnant when they're not stressing about it and when they have sex less. Try making it fun instead of just trying to make a baby if you can
X x x x