Name Dilemna!!

[jacy90]

Was talking to my best friend on Sunday, who is about 15 weeks pregnant with her second child, about names. Me and my OH had chosen names right at the beginning of our pregnancy and decided that we wouldn't tell anyone our decisions until the birth. Both the names we've chosen (girl and boy) are names that mean a lot to us, due to certain family members that they are in honour/memory of. Anyways, it turns out that my friend has chosen the same boys name as us, and got really funny when she found out that we had the same name. She's since text me saying she's not budging on the name, and if we both have boys, either I've gotta change or we get used to both having the same (which would be strange as we spend a lot of time together). I didn't wanna worry about it until if and when we have to cross that bridge, after all, we might both be having girls! But its being turned into this massive issue now and I'm finding it quite upsetting - I don't wanna fall out with my best friend all because we both have good taste in names lol
She keeps going on about how much the name means to them and how theyve already gotten used to it and that theyve told family members already - they already have a boy so if it means that much, surely they wouldve named their first boy it?
Sorry about the long rant, and I don't wanna seem unreasonable, but the whole situation is just getting me down now and I don't know what to say to her. Ive already said I don't wana think about it until the time comes, but she keeps bringing it up. Any suggestions ladies??

 

[cosmicgirl]

Why does she get the say over who is having the name? Who's lo is due first??
If I were you I'd still call my boy that name, I wouldn't budge, she doesn't own that name! x

 

[Lou12]

I agree with Cos - should you have a boy, call it the name you've chosen. I'm sorry but if she also has a boy, there's no way she's calling it the same!

 

[CARNAT22]

Sorry but your friend sounds like an idiot.

Fancy telling you that you cannot use that name, with you being due first LOL!!

I can understand that its quite an upsetting situation though, you would not expect a friend to be so uncompromising about this.

She doesn't sound like she is willing to sit down and discuss this rationally. The fact that they already have a boy and didn't use this name is just ludicrous.....

Is there any variation on the name you both like that you can suggest as an alternative?

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Mrs. KM]

It's not fair that she is trying to claim the name and is making you feel bad about it. I would tell her what you said here... That you love the name and you don't want to fall out with her because you have good taste in names. She has 25 more weeks to go and if you change your choice and she ends up having a girl, then you will regret changing it if you have a boy. If they end up having the same name, so be it. My husband and brother have the same name and we manage lol. I really have an issue with people claiming names and wouldn't tell people the names we chose or let them tell us the names they were thinking while we were pregnant.

 

[Em91]

Ah that's a tough one, if you had it first then tough, end of the day your LO is due first so it'll be her copying you not the other way round. If she wants it that much she could just change the spelling (if thats poss).
Like you say it may not even come anything if you dont both have boys
Using tapatalk so excuse the typos!

 

[Lolly85x]

Well your due 1st... End of... And if you have a boy and choose to use that name then so be it! It would be a bit weird having kids the same name, but at end of day she's the one due 2nd!!! Anyway... I would just keep telling her that your not thinking about it untill baby is here. You need to see what he/she looks like...

(I told my so called friend the name I had chosen for a boy... And she went and called her kitten it!!!!!! Glad iv now gone off the name) xxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

If you're due first, tough tittie I'm afraid, call him your name, that's the privilege of being due first, she has to deal with it x

 

[LucyB.]

DEffo don't budge from that name! She's no right to tell u u can't have it! If u want it then u have it hun xxx

 

[daniph1]

what they al said!!!!!!! x

 

[barbi3]

i agree you are due first so you can chose whatever name you like! as someone said she is not guaranteed a boy and if you dont chose the name you want and end up having a boy you will regret it later on !your friend is being unreasonable!i have not told anyone my lo name apart from close family as i would'nt want to be in your situation.

 

[frankie247]

I definitely would use your name - if she then uses it, it'll just look like she's copied you and I can pretty much guarantee that she'll use a different name.

I can understand why you ate upset about the situation - but you definitely need to stand your ground. The worst is that both sons will end up with same name (that's even if you both have boys) and that's no big issue - lots of children end up with the same name. Who knows if you'll even be friends in the distant future. I really wouldn't even think about using a different name x

Oh and as for her asking about it all the time - just say you'll decide for definite when the LO arrives, which is the most reasonable answer. X

 

[zoe82]

Definitely stick to your guns on this one, if they have the same name, so what anyway?! People don't go around in life being the only person with their name! If she's a good friend she'll get over it, plus she might change her mind, she's got ages yet, me and my oh have changed our name choices so many times its stupid!
My "friend" never found out what she was having and I did, so she text me straight away telling me her girls name so I couldn't have it! I nearly replied with "oh I love that name I'll use that", but thought better of it. If you have a boy, shes got weeks to get used to it!!

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk 2

 

[EmmaN27]

I agree with all the other ladies, it is unreasonable for her to say this to you. As you have said, the name means something special to you so don't let anyone take it away from you. You are way ahead of her pregnancy wise so if you both do have boys she has time to decide whether to use same name or find a different one. Like you said, if it was that important why wasn't her first son named with that name! She doesn't sound like a very good friend to put this stress on you and keep asking you about it, just tell her you are still using that name and if she wants to use it too then that's fine, nobody has their own unique name. x

 

[katie_lou]

Don't let your so called friend dictate to you what you can call your LO

 

[BumbleTumble]

i agree with all of the above!

she doesn't own the name, and you are going to get there first!

xx

 

[jules84]

She sounds like a great friend.

:/ xxx

 

[Gayle30]

Ooooh I have the rage for you. What a crap friend dictating like that. Do what you want and stuff her. Nobody has the right to pick, and like others have said if its the case where u both have boys she is very unlikely to call her boy the same As you.

My best friend told me she didn't want me to use 'her girls name' when I said I was pregnant.....it's rank anyway so there was never going to be a problem but I did think she was a cheeky cow for saying that.

Good luck....look forward to hearing what happens xxx

 

[FirstBabyEek]

Completely agree with what everyone else has already said. Chances are with 25 weeks left she'll change her mind on the name anyway.

She only keeps bringing it up because you're due first and therefore she knows she'll have to lump the fact that if you have a boy it'll have the name you've chosen and quite right too, you chose it first!!

Good luck hope this one resolves itself soon xx

 

[Leah04x]

^^ What all the other ladies said..
I wouldn't budge if it was me! xx