sad scan result --- MORE GOOD NEWS :)

[moomoo192]

hiya

had some bad news today had my scan and by chance as baby was lying face down and they found a lot of fluid around the baby's neck (nuchal fold) which could mean down syndrome (high risk due to the amount of fluid) heart problems like hole in the heart, infection, due to cases of slapped cheek (parvo virus) at school at the time of me getting my hpt? If its this then beacuse its so early still if it was affected by it then it will slowly kill off baby's blood cells which will then become aneamic and eventually die, if i was further along then they could have done a blood transfusion on it.

Basically i have opted for the downs test as we both know (please don't judge me on this) that we would have to opt for a termination as we know we would not cope. I have always refused the testing and said if it was born with it then it would be loved and cared for no matter what but in this case its not the case, we know we could be faced with that, we have ourselves, our other children and the life of the baby we have to consider and knowing what we know i/we wouldn't cope. If it was our 1st baby things might be different.

With the testing i can have a CVS test now which they take a piece of placenta and culture it to give a definate result or an amniocentesis at around 20 weeks. cvs has 2% miscarriage rate, the amnio has 1%. Bearing in mind i'm 13 weeks now (they put me back a week) i have to consider what happens if we have to terminate, with cvs i should be ok to have a normal termination unless baby is too big that it would cause damae to me and then i would have to deliver, if i wait for the amnio and had to terminate then i would have no other option than to go through labour to deliver our baby so with this in mind i have opted for the cvs, either test will give us a definate result as to whether it has downs or not but with cvs their is a risk that it will only show abnormalities within the placenta and not baby so then i would have to wait for the amnio. If the test comes back ok then they will have to do a heart scan on the baby as the fluid could be from that so whatever option i think about that i have been given is not a good one. Part of me hopes that if the result for downs is positive then i truly hope to god i miscarry naturally so i don't have to go thru with a termination.

My doctor should be ringing me tomorrow to see if i can have it done tomorrow or monday, they've been really fantastic and explained everything i've wanted to know and have said to me that if any decision i make i can undo anytime and have not pressurised us in any way.

If anybody has had anything show up with a nuchal fold scan could they please let me kow what happened whether thru this or PM, thanks.

Lastly i'm sorry if i have offended anyone by saying about a termination but you have to realise we have talked things thru based on 'our' lives not anybody elses. I totally admire anyone who has a downs child, i have nothing at all against them, my dh's uncle was disabled and i know what is involved with looking after them so its not a decision made lightly with no thought put into it but i just know in our circumstances we would not be able to cope and this is why we have made this very hard decision if the outcome goes that way.

 

[happy-chick]

Hi hun, so sorry that you are going through this and having to make these decisions. Please don't feel like people will judge you as I'm very sure that you will do what you both feel right for you and your family.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time

 

[Baileysmummy]

im sorry things are not going well with you and bubs, but NO ONE WILL judge you for making a descion like that hun, I hope they are wrong though and good luck for the tests..

 

[Josephine_Beth]

Awww lady, don't feel bad. DS is something that will be hard for you, yuour partner and your child to bare. If you feel you could not handle this, then you have every right, it's not like you'd be getting rid of it because you have no reason, you are justified in your actions.

I don't think I could handle that either.

If you feel you are doing the right thing, then do so.

Chin up xx

 

[fothers]

Really sorry to hear your bad news- I hope the next lot of tests give you better results

Thinking of you and your family

 

[lisa&alex]

you are going to need a lot of support around this time, where some people may choose to not terminate others would, if the tests come back that the baby has abnormalities then to be honest i would do exactly the same as you, im so sorry for the news and like the other girls hope that its ok. dont fell that we are here to judge you, thats not what we are here for.. we are all friends here and are a good support network, take care and rest xx

 

[frangelle]

Aw hun it's your choice- you shouldn't worry about what others think, you know what's best for you and your family. What a horrid thing to go through.

Keep us posted, but fingers crossed

xxx

 

[gems]

Really sorry to hear this babe. I hope that you get good news with the test results. Don't worry about people judging you hunni at the end of the day you and your OH need to make the decision thats right for you. I think that if I was in your postion hun I would probably make the same choice. Thinking of you and your family x x x x x

 

[ella]

I am so sorry to hear this. You have enough to deal with - dont worry about what anyone else thinks

 

[kimmumof2]

im soo sorry you are going thru this hun. thinking of you and your family at this time.

xxxxx

 

[Marijana FC]

I am so sorry to hear about your results. And don't worry about what people will think: it is your life and your decision. It is better to be honest, whatever the outcome is. Anyway, lots of positive thoughts from a fellow pregnant woman from Cheltenham!
By the way, if you feel like talking just send me a pm and we can organize something! (I am sure there are a lot of people you can talk to but just in case...)

 

[moomoo192]

Thanks everyone for your replies, it means a lot to me to know i have so much support here, just reading your replies brought tears to my eyes again.

I heard from the hospital this morning, my appointment is for monday at 10.55, i just feel so confused, up one minute, down the next. Just don't know what to think at the minute. I'm doing lots of searching on the internet but dont know if its a good or bad thing.

Thanks again all

Ps Marijana, where abouts in cheltenham r u? its good to know u r so close

 

[alfie]

Niki honey try not to worry, my sister had a 1 in 8 downs risk because of the high levels of nuchal fluid in her baby, she had cvs which was negative, she then had loads of scans on the babys heart to make sure there was no problem there as apparently increased fluid can be an indication, but they were all clear. Although they did say they couldn't find any major problems but wouldn't be completeley sure until it was born. Well Tom was born 11 days ago and is completely healthy and well, no problems whatsoever. So try not to worry, it might all be a false alarm.

You shouldn't worry about offending anybody about whatever decision you chose to make if the worst comes to the worst as it is your decision. I personally would have a termination but it is a very personal choice and nobody should try to influence you or think badly of you whatever you decide.

Take care

xxxxxxx

 

[Marijana FC]

Thanks everyone for your replies, it means a lot to me to know i have so much support here, just reading your replies brought tears to my eyes again.

I heard from the hospital this morning, my appointment is for monday at 10.55, i just feel so confused, up one minute, down the next. Just don't know what to think at the minute. I'm doing lots of searching on the internet but dont know if its a good or bad thing.

Thanks again all

Ps Marijana, where abouts in cheltenham r u? its good to know u r so close

We are currently in St George's Road (near Waitrose) but we'll be moving to Benhall in two-three weeks time.
I know it's easy to say but try to relax a little bit. I guess the only thing you can do to help you and your baby now is try to be positive. Despite the rain

 

[Anna B]

Hey Niki.
Please don't worry what people will think of you, I had a terminantion just over a month ago (mine was dure to spina bifida though), and no one here, or in person has judged me. It is a horrible descision to have to make, but as you already said, you have to do what is best for you and the others in your life, if there is someone out there who can't deal with that, then they aren't worth knowing

I live in Stroud, so not far from you either, in fact you may even get to see the same consultant sonographer as I saw (Richard Hayman-really nice chap) he is based in Cheltenham, and works both there and Gloucester. If you want to chat about what to expect if you do have to deliver from the point of view of someone who has done it, feel free to PM me and I'll give you my phone number. At the time I never thought I'd e able to do it, but now, looking back I think it wasn't so bad, physically or emotionally.

Good luck for monday

 

[leckershell]

Just read this and I know I'm not in 2nd tri, but thought would send you a hug

 

[Eblinx]

Hi there, so sorry to hear what you are going through.
dont worry about what people will think - everyone has a different set of circumstances at the end of the day!
sending you lots of hugs

 

[moomoo192]

Hi all


Well today went ok, not as bad as i thought to be honest.

We'll get the first part of our results in 2/3 days and the final result in about 2 weeks. If it is downs or one of the other main chromosone defects it will show up in the first result but some placentas can't be tested so in that case nothin would show on either result and so i would need the amnio at 20 weeks.

The midwife went thru all our options including worst case scenario's. I feel personally i have to think of the worst case so anything better is a bonus otherwise i just wouldn't cope. If the tests come back negative but a chromosomal defect of some other sort is found then dh and i wil have to have our chromosomes tested in case either of us carry a defect one and thats what shows up on baby.

I have not had my blood results back yet so still dont know if its to do with the parvo virus, if it is we will probably end up having to go to bristol for assessment/treatment. If it is to do with this then basically the blood cells die off, baby becomes aneamic and then swells and would either (depending on how many weeks i am) need a blood transfusion or basically die if it was too early to be able to do anything.

If tests come back negative then i need a heart scan done on baby at 22 weeks but because the baby's heart would only be the size of a peanut i may need to go to bristol for a more detailed scan. Apparantly the consultant i'm under (mrs pillai) is very skilled but there is only so much she could see at that stage so if it wasn't enough then this is when i would have to go to Bristol to see a specialist.

I have had some tummy aches but nothing too bad, I'm taking it easy as told by the hospital and everyone is being so kind and helpfull it just makes me feel useless to be honest. I'm finding it hard waiting, and also dreading the result that we'll get. We have our holiday in 3 weeks (away for 2) and i've said i wont spoil the holiday for the kids for something that isn't nice so things would have to be dealt with when i come back. I asked what our options were, basically because of my stage or pregnancy if worst comes to worst and i have to terminate then it would be by evacuation before our holiday but after it would be by labour and delivery. I aksed from her experience what do women find easiest to deal with mentally and she said she was glad she asked this and it was easier to deliver as it helps with the grieving process, i think 'd already made my mind up i would rather do it this way if i had a choice anyway, i dont think i would cope with the other option emotionally. I know either way would be hard so i'm trying not to think about it but its hard not to.

As soon as i get my results i will update you all, as long as we still have electric that is, the water got cut off tonight!

Thank you all again for being my support system, it really does mean a lot

xxx

 

[weenik]

I wish you all the best for your results. I had to have an amnio and luckily the results from that were clear, but I understand what it feels like to have to wait for that phone call. I'm sure we'll all keep our fingers crossed for you & your family xx

 

[happy-chick]

Replied in 1st Tri x