Scared

[LaulLaul]

About 2 or 3 months ago i went ova 2 ma best m8s house,but only her step-brother was in ,he told me 2 come in coz she might be a few hours and it was rainin out.
We talked for a bit and he went into the kitchen 4 a beer and asked if i wanted a vodka i siad yes.we had a few more and i think he was really drunk coz he kissed me.I fancied him so i kissed him back.he pushed me onto the sofa and asked if i wanted sex.i said yes.

afta he had a shower and left while he thought i was asleep.i realised we had'nt used a condom but he did pull out so I forgot and got dressed and left.
I felt a bit icky since then and finnaly took a test about a week ago and it came back positive.
So i told ma mate and she was fine coz of all the mess i was in and i txted him sayin im pregnant its urs but he said it aint he dont want a family now.
But ma mate said she'd tell thier dad if he didnt be responsible for his own mess.so we went and told ma mum.she was shocked and angry and told me to get out so I stayed at his mums and we had sex again.

He woke me up about 3am and he was dressin.I asked what he was doing he said he was leaving till this all blows over and he'd call me sometime.He kissed me and left.
Its been about 3 days now.no phone call.

Im sorry if this was long but im really scared,please help.

 

[xjdx]

Hiya, this must b really crap for you, how old are you? I was pg wit my son at 16 his dad was 26 and i feel pg within 3 weeks. I had taylor at 17 and im now 18! Are you definatly going to keep the baby? talk over all options with an adult friend, i couldnt really talk to my mum and the friends around me at that age where to imature to handle stuff like that. i think you should stop sleeping with the bloke after all if your not using protection do you know where he has been? Is he passing on any sexualy transmitted infections to you and your baby?
Seriously you have to weigh all your options up about having this child, if you want it let him no your keeping it and tell him you would like him to do right by the baby whether your an item or not! He or what he gets up2 doesnt matter at the min its all about you and the baby! Try and talk to some 1 though ok huni

 

[jenna]

1st he doesnt sound like a very nice guy and 2nd if i were you i would have checked he were useing protection before having sex. I agree i wouldnt have sex with him again and i were you i would talk to some one you know about it. Have you seen your GP yet?
Good luck

 

[LaulLaul]

xjdx im 17.

Yea I went 2 the gp to confirm it after i took the test cause I heard they can sometimes be wrong.
I don't knoe what 2 do about the baby,my mum has kicked me out so Im living with my brother at the moment.

I asked friends and family what I should do but they just say its "my choice"but i realy dont knoe.
I dont want my baby brought up by strangers,if i keep it i want to be mine.
But im realy scared of the birth and bein in pain,i bet i sound realy selfish dont i?

 

[Toxic_Angel]

Hey hun, firsty it's totally upto what you decide to do, if you still dont receive a call after a long time then dont let it get you down, If you decide to keep the baby and he doesnt want it then thats his loss, whereas you'll have a lovely part of you to love you just as much as you love them, where as your mum kicking you out thats horrible especailly when your pregnant. As for being pregnant so far for me its been a wonderful experiance im 17 myself, will be 18 by time babas here though. My fiance isnt much into my pregnant but i know when LO is here he will be pestering me.
So dont let anyone tell you what to do, pain in childbirth is natural, dont let that be the reason you dont want to have the baby.
Take care

 

[jayla's mummy]

i agree with toxic angel hun
take care

xnatx

 

[Ruthy]

Toxic-angel's right,its your decision if you keep the child.
I wouldn't rely on this bloke though hun,if he does call,great! but i doubt he will,I mean what does he mean "till this blows over"? When you've had and raised the baby and its not his responsibility anymore?

And seen as you slept with him twice,and from what i gather unprotected,have you been checked out for std's?

Take care hun,You sound like a very mature 17 year old.
Good luck!

 

[Robyn_]

again the same as others, its your choice if you want to keep the baby, and the boy doesnt seem to be able to deal with it,
theres other help you can get,
but it is your choice,

hopefully things will work out right for you hunni take care

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I have tbh and confess that I have no idea what your going through, though im imagoning your scared and its all getting way too much for you to cope with and you need some much needed support from family and friends.
Weigh up everything and work out whats best for you at the end of the day. As a young person if you have a baby you will get lots of help and will be entitled to benefits and will be given somewhere to live.
Dont let the fear of childbirth be a factor in why you shouldnt have a baby, there are some wonderful drugs out there that stop all the pain and classes as well that you can go to to learn coping techniques and parenting skills.

As for you family, i hope they come around to your pregnancy cos you will need them more then ever at a time like this.

And the father, tell him to svivel, it seems he only wants you for sex and has no interest in raising a child and providing for it. You sound better off alone, i have been there and swallowed blokes like him and they alwasy screw you. Stay well away and remind him that he will be paying child maintenance to his unborn baby - he does have some responsabilities!

Good luck darlin with whatever you decide to do.

 

[libs]

I fell pregnant when I was 18, and from day one the father wanted nothing to do with him except to offer me money for an abortion, and then when I refused, money for a pram in lieu of all future support. I told him to shove the pram somewhere it probably wouldn't fit After my son was born i sent him one photo offering him the chance to be in contact but said that was his only chance, if he refused then then there would be no future contact as my son was worth more than playing games.
He's never had any contact and I think that has been easier for my son and myself than my nieces and nephews whose fathers float in and out with varying amounts of commitment depending on gfriends, holidays, jobs, how much support they want to pay etc. So I would say forget him, don't hold out hopes that'll he come round etc.
Start thinking instead of your baby and you. Do you want to raise a child alone? It's difficult but not impossible, there are far more childcare places, benefits etc now that can make it possible for you to have a child and still work/study. I bet that Mum and family will come round eventually and will eventually offer support, but your decision should be based on doing this alone. It's a horrible start to a pregnancy, but there's no need to think that it won't get better - whatever choice you make

 

[LaulLaul]

Hi everyone.
I tried having an abortion on tuesday,but i didn't even get as far as the clinic before i turend back.
My mum phoned saying shes sorry she was mean it was just cause she was stressed with looking after her kids and now mine,but i said I'll look after my kid,i just need a place to stay.
I still have'nt got a phone call from the dad though..

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Nothing is impossible and if you want your baby keep it. Yes i know im married etc but when i look at my children i couldnt imagine them noit in my life, they make it all the much better.

 

[Riley's Mommy]

sc*w the bloke. sorry, but if he isnt interested, its his loss. im quite happy raising my son alone. im 20, so not a teen. i wouldnt be without my son. he means the world to me.

i think the fact you turned back shows you have doubts and want the baby, even though you are scared.

good luck and keep in touch

 

[LaulLaul]

Thanks you lot,your a LOT more supportiv than somepeople i live near.

I finnaly got a phone call yesterday from the dad.He asked if i was havin it,coz he had some money he'd post if i was.I said yes.I asked when he was comin back,and if we were still together.He said he moved on,why dont i? and rang up.
I didnt even get a chance 2 ask where he was,and i couldnt trace the number.
I dont think he's gonna call again,i knoe it sounds dum,but i wanted us to b together.

 

[sophie-jordan]

im sure u do but maybe its just your hormones playing a part in it all thinking u will be better if your abby has both parents together?
i was a young mum aswell hun but u will be fab on your own n every1 is here 2 help
xxx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

aww hun im sorry he is being like this
i notice u live in southend
im only in colchester so if u need to meet up for a chat we can, i was 17 wen i fell pregnant to and was a single mummy

 

[Squiglet]

what a looser!!! forget him hun...just report him to the csa when the baby's born... get urself registered for a council flat now... at your local housing centre.. That way you can show your mum that you are taking steps to look after the baby. Go to the benefits office too because you're probably entitled to something.

Having a baby is painful....but its not as bad as most people make out and you won't really know whats going on...But find someone who will hold your hand during it. If you ask your mum it might go a long way to repairing your relationship with her.

Don't have an abortion, if you really don't want one, and certainly don't have one if you don't have anyone to support you afterwards. Having an abortion is an incredibly difficult thing to do emotionally and you will need your friends and family around you to support you afterwards.

Having a baby will change your life, but see it as a new start and a drive to give your baby a better life....go to college get a good education, job....find a man who will stand by you and your child.

You can do this on your own....its hard, I did it too...but at least your LO won't have her daddy flit in and out of her life when it pleases him doing more harm than good... I wish I'd had the courage to go it alone when I was 19 and had Tia, but I wanted to be with him and well, that was me being selfish... The best thing would have been to have got on with my life without him.



good luck hun....xxx

 

[trixipaws]

 

[Ruthy]

Never mind sweetie.He would have been a ******* of a dad anyway.
But as soon as this kids born,get Csa on his arse.They'll find him.