surname? please help

[NatB]

I am 17yrs old and 16 weeks pregnant, i have been thinking about the names for the baby and we have come to some rough agreements what we think would be nice. The problem i have is that i want the baby to have my surname... i know it takes two to make a baby and he is and always will be involved with the baby no matter what. I know it is important to have a father round and i wouldn't want the baby to go through life with out a dad like i did although i have one now.
I love my partner to bits and he knows that i would never stop him having anything to do with the baby but i don't want the baby having his surname mainly because we are not married and if anything happened in our relationship and we seperated i wouldn't have the same surname as the baby. When my partner and i do marry we are all having a double barrel last name (my surname and his joint) so the baby won't have to change its name significantly.
do you think i am being selfish?

please help as this has caused so many arguments in my family and i just want other opinions....

Nat xxx

 

[AllieW]

Not at all. My sister's two daughters have her surname and the father of the first is no longer with her so it's just as well. She did go through a patch where he was teaching Kez that her surname was his surname but she soon put paid to that. Plenty of unmarried women do it. Your fella can still be named on the birth certificate and there doesn't need to be a problem at all.

 

[Gemma & Jake]

Why don't you give your baby a double barrelled name? If you don't want to though then giving the baby your name is a good idea until you marry.

 

[weenik]

I personally think what you're doing is right, I would find it strange if my child had a different surname than me. My sister used her partners surname for their daughter and now they've separated, and the daughter was asking for ages why she didn't have the same surname as her mum. Do what you think is right x

 

[muppetmummy]

I think I'd go for a double barrelled surname if that's what you've planned for the furture any way.
I think if you did need to change the babys surname later on it wouldn't be too hard.

 

[tots hope]

My SIL gave her son her maden name and then got married to my brother (not the dad) so now he has a different sur-name to anyone, Its the the same as his dad or his mums - picking names has got to be so hard - and all i can suggest is you do what you feel is right but it needs both parents to decide

 

[NIE]

I think that you are doing the right thing babes. xxx

 

[leckershell]

I agree, do what you think is right.

 

[Marmite]

ooohhh. Thats a good point, im not married, and like you i am 17.

I dont think i'll be going for double barreled surname.

prosser hindson or hindson prosser.... *shudder*

 

[okiegirl]

i think u should give baby ur surname to start with and then as u say give it a doubled barrelled name when u get married.

 

[BX]

I know its such a hard decision and must cause problems within your families, but do you not plan on being together forever? If you have doubts then by all means use your name otherwise use the name that you will use once your married (if your want to marry!)

I was 19 when i had my little girl and i never questioned giving her my partners name as i knew we would marry one day. We were married last July and now all have the same family name. I know i made the right decision.

I think its a good idea to have both names too.

Good luck hun

 

[Sabrina]

Really it's a personal decision and if you are happy with using your name or using both (double barrelled) that's all that counts.

My son will have my partner's name and we aren't married. I don't want him to have my surname because I'm still using my married name even though I've been divorced 9 years!

 

[trixipaws]

if ur not in hurry to get married but u kno ur gonna b double-barrelling ur names why not both change ur names by deed poll now to the double-barrelled and u all hav the same name then. x