Why not to find out if your baby is a boy or a girl?

[i.love]

Hi girls,

First of all, I do not want to offend anyone!! I respect everyone's opinions and decisions according the question I'm gonna ask. I'm just really curious and wonder if I don't understand smth, that's all

So the question is - why don't some couples want to find out if they are going to have a boy or a girl??? I really don't understand.

As to me personally, I would like to find out who I'm gonna have, because:

1. I want to start buying nice things! And in appropriate colours.
2. I want to start choosing names
3. I don't want to call my baby 'it' or 'they' all the time!
4. I just want to know It's all so exciting

And I can't think of any reason why I would not want to find out!

I usually hear explanation like 'we don't care, as long as it's healthy'. Well I will be happy with a girl or a boy as well, but I still can't see why it means I should not find out.

 

[Little Rose]

Hi I Love,

For me it's really because I am so afraid of going into hospital and birth in general that I beleive I need the element of surprise to get me through if my labour is going to be long/tough. My DH is dying to know but we decided against it in the end. I'd also let it slip by mistake without thinking and I think that it spoils it for everyone in the family. HOwever, each to their own, this is just my reason.

Rose

 

[Samsgirl]

i know i'm not pregnant again yet but we don't want to find out because we also want the suprise......i am also terrified of labour and so need something to get me through it...lol xx

 

[Nurse 26]

I don't want to find out either, just because I want a surprise on the dday and my husband feels the same, just think it will be special to find out on the day and not before, not bothered about buying specific colours and we will chose boys and girls names

Its really up to the individual, x x x

 

[yorksmummy]

I found out with my first and found that there was an element of surprise missing from the delivery (was the happiest person in the world to get my baby don't get me wrong), but the whole what did you have etc was missing. Didn't find out with my second and even the midwife was excited to find out what we'd had. Won't be finding out with this one either, it's wonderful finding out when you have your baby in your arms, and generally you're the one that looks so you're the first to know too.

 

[midnight]

i didnt find out on my 1st and the suprise was nice once id given birth but i also wasted alot of money buying white clothing so i have found out on all of my others and i think its just as nice finding out at the 20 week scan as it was giving birth i dont think it took anything away from giving birth at all as 1 you still check and 2 your dying to meet your baby and find out what he or she looks like and that he she has arrived safetly

 

[Constantstar]

I have found out this time as its my first, but we are def keeping the next one (in the future!!) A suprise x

 

[Rayoflight]

We wanted the surprise.

A friend of mine chose not to find out because her husband desperately wants a boy. She's scared if it's a girl and he knows during the pregnancy that he will be detached and not as excited. She knows on the day of the birth he wont care and will be happy whatever. It's different for men, they don't carry the babies so often only feel the love attachment once they arrive.

 

[pinkymum]

I was desperate to find out - I'm not well known for my patience lol. And I love knowing I'm having a girl and buying all the girl stuff! But I think a surprise would be lovely too! I'm just crap at waiting for things

 

[Sarah13]

I'm the same as the others I love the element of surprise and wondering all the way through, it's much more fun guessing and all your friends guessing for nine months. Im complete opposite to you and think why would you want to find out and spoil that part of the fun! Plus I'm not really into this boys have to have blue and girls have pink stuff, my pram will be black to match my stuff lol! I was convinced my daughter was a boy and finding out she was a girl when I gave birth was amazing as I secretly wanted a daughter! If I'd know before my mum would have filled my house with bloody pink! You don't need to say 'it' you can have a little nickname, not that I have one yet, seems too early. There are parts of the country where the policy is not to tell parents so some people have no choice, this is happening for my SIL and they cant afford a private scan so just have to wait and see!

 

[Sunnyb]

We chose not to find out with our first & haven't found out with our second either. I have a friend who has 2 boys & desperately wanted a girl. She was told she was having a girl & went pink buying crazy, decorated the nursery & chose her name & gave birth to a 3rd boy. She was very depressed & wasted a lot of money on burly things that she had to then sell for a loss. I know it's not often they get it wrong - if they say it's a boy then they have normally seen testicles & willy so it's rare they say you're having a boy, to then have a girl. But if the boys tackle is tucked well away on the scan they can says it's a girl when it's not. After my friends experience & severe depression I decided that I'm not having a baby to get specifically a boy or girl & everyone asks if you know what your having & I like saying "no" to them as me & OH will be first to know, which makes people more curious. I loved having Joseph & being told by my hubby through his blubbing hat we had a boy. I think you can get loads of universal clothes, prams, bedding, toys etc. Although I have seen a couple of dresses that would be great if we were having a girl to buy. My hubby says if we have a girl he wants to go out & choose a dress with Joseph for her. If we have a boy - great as we have loads of boy stuff already!!!!
I understand everyones reasons for choosing to know or not, it's personal choice & that's my reason for not finding out x

Sunnyb xxx

 

[Nurse 26]

I also have a friend who was told she was having a girl and then had a boy, she was happy as already had a girl but she had bought stuff and decorated.

 

[i.love]

thanks everyone for your opinoins!

I personally don't get the 'surprise' thing - I feel the same as midnight. Just seing my baby at last and holding it in my arms would be the best surprise ever.

but I didn't really think about the case of the doctors getting it wrong! That would be rubbish Hmmm...

 

[xshauna_bazx]

I dunno how anyone can wait, i can understand why they do though! I am way to impatient xxx

 

[Kay1987]

I didnt find out with my son and i have this time, and to be honest i wish i had just waited again. its nice to know hes another boy but theres still the "what if" its wrong? and it hasnt made much easier for me anyway. I would still have chosen a boys name anyway if i didnt know the sex, i dont like the pale blue clothes thing so ive been buying more neutral clothes anyway, our nursery was going to be neutral colours anyway so in preparaton for the baby its no easier than not knowing for me. I feel like its taken some of the excitement away from the pregnancy. I agree with the others that have said that if your having a difficult labour, knowing u will find out the sex soon is something to focus on and help you through it, it definately helped me focus through my emergency c-section. I also feel like theres no surprise at the end for everyone else, u all know what it is and more often than not have told everyone what they will b called! each to their own tho, i understand y ppl want to find out, afterall i did it myself, just wouldnt do it again! x

 

[amandapanda]

but I didn't really think about the case of the doctors getting it wrong! That would be rubbish Hmmm...

In nine times out of 10 it's not a doctor it's the sonographer who will tell you the sex. In my case I found out at 27 weeks when my consultant did an urgent scan....I'm kind of hoping that with all his training and experience he knew what he saw, ha ha xx

 

[Emerald rose]

I already have a boy and a girl and i found out at my 20 week scan what i was having with both of them. I still bought Unisex clothes before they where born and only got a few pink and blue items for them such as bedding and changing mats. Finding out the sex doesnt take away the suprise for me but i've decided to not find out this time as i would like to see what its like when they say 'its a.......'
my DD is really hoping for a boy and my DS wants a girl as they dont want to share there toys

 

[cherrybinky]

I want to find out for the same reasons as you i.love. I want to get clothing, colours sorted in the nursery, let people know, name choices etc.

 

[littlemiss83]

I'll be keeping it a suprise too, same as with first.

Nothing can compare to that moment when the midwife says "its a boy/girl" when you are pregnant, the suprise is amazing you know you are gonna love the baby no matter what the sex. So it doesn't really matter in that sense.

Also have 2 friends who have been told the wrong sex, they prepared for that sex then discovered they couldn't afford to buy stuff for the correct sex.

With regards to decorating nursery ect, baby is in room with mum for approx 6/8 months anyway, so plenty of time to decorate, alot of ppl I know decorate in neutral colours then add in maybe a pink border or blue border.

Its apprently bad luck to have baby stuff in the house before birth (not my opinion but alot of ppl have that view), my mum insisted on keeping everything at hers til my first was born. I gave her the money for a buggy/car seat and picked out designs/colours, so when baby was born she went to collect - alot of the buggies ect you get are neutral colours anyway. No matter what the sex, it can be overwhelming to have every item of clothing in either blue or pink, i'd bought loads of sleeping suits in white/yellow then bought a cpl of packs in pink when baby born...simple - then obviously you get lots of wee outfits from friends/family anyway.

 

[midnight]

they was right on everyone of mine that i found out on my dd who is 7 her dad didnt want to know so i found out and never told him i even bought pink things i just hid them away and he was that determind he didnt want to know he never looked where i told him not to go we also chose names for both sex and i never slipped up once